how to download minecraft for free

higuyztodayiwillshowyousumthingnew, i will make a tutorial on how 2 download
Mein Kampf Minecraft.
Things you will need:
-A computer
-Internet
-Memes
-Internet explorer (google chrome & firefox no work)
-Youtube channel
-Smallpox (can be found in White Run, go talk to the red guard next to the forge)
-Gaming chair
-Supa Hot Fire rap battle complete pack
-Dankest kush

Once u got all the materials u can start looking for minecraft:
1-Start at 4:20 am by smokin w33d
2-tip your fedora and leave

Everyone died, the end